If only it were as easy to cleanse the soul as it is to cleanse the body. Not that the detox cleanse is without thought or a bit of work, but the amount of work it takes to confront memories, to delve into unresolved issues of the soul and to come to terms with current reality is much more complicated. I am sitting in what was my mother’s living room on the sofa from our soon to be gone mountain cabin. I am surrounded by an atmosphere thick with emotions and tinged with slight sadness. This is the room where two summers ago, I sat on my mother’s couch, rubbing her tired legs, reading her stories from the StoryCorp book I got her for her August birthday. This is where we shared secrets and memories, losses and dreams. This is where she revealed her feelings and fears to me and while I am grateful for that time and the fact that I devoted the summer to her and really being present while with my mother, I am angry that I didn’t get more time, ask more questions and hold her more.
Loss is a tricky partner that pokes its head up at various times in our lives. It is two-faced and can be cherished or disastrous. Loss, as in weight loss, is usually a welcome friend not easy to obtain and the loss of toxins in the body-as in detox cleanse-is a challenging but rewarding experience. The loss of a person, however, is heavy, pronged with memories, and unsaid words of love. The only way to prevent these feelings for me is to participate in a voluntary cleanse of my material life, and to focus on the emotional part of my life-that which is important.
I have two categories for my personal cleanse challenge:
Legally required papers
Books I will read again
To Let Go:
Clothes that are outdated or don’t make me feel good
Knickknacks that have lost their meaning
Books that are a one-time read
That is a good, manageable start. Five items. My new motto being: “Don’t delay, a shelf a day.”
Today I spent the day in Hollywood at the lovely Wilshire Park Elementary school. The math training I am attending is hosted by the publisher and they graciously provided us with breakfast and lunch. I had planned ahead and brought my food, but not enough for a long day with no access to other foods. I had my muesli breakfast and coffee, which sustained me for quite a while.
We had a break at 9:30 and I ate cottage cheese, almonds and a green apple and felt great until lunch. Unfortunately, our lunch time is 11:00-11:45, which is very early, leaving 4 hours of class in the afternoon and then a long drive home. The lunch provided looked great, but I had brought a salad, chicken and corn “rice” cakes. I added a little of the provided salad and a bit of vegetarian pasta sauce (no pasta). By about 2:30 I was hungry with no options, so I drank my water and tried to think of what to bring tomorrow to stave off hunger.
I need portable filling snacks! Ideas? Tonight I am going to venture out to Poquito Mas for some steak tacos. No cheese! I feel so good and lighter, healthier, but it is a challenge to be on the go and stick to the detox. I like a challenge though, so I am up for it. Thirteen days to go!
So the question of the day is: How is math like detox? The answer? Both involve problem solving. Teaching problem solving to children is like opening a new world of ideas for them. It is empowering and they love to figure out the answer themselves. Sticking to the detox cleanse is like that too. I am solving my eating questions and coming up with solutions, with a bit of guidance from my patient teacher Olga.
Feeling empowered is a lovely thing.
It’s the weekend! Usually this means a drastic change in routine, but since it is summer, the fun just continues. Saturday I started the day with muesli, mana bread with almond butter and coffee. I went to Curves and then came home to start my CLEANING REGIME! I am determined to sort through, clean, recycle, toss, and organize everything in my house. I will get it condensed to a reasonable amount of “stuff” so that I am prepared for all possible outcomes to our housing nightmare. This is why I need strength and control.
Speaking of control, I am finding that I very much enjoy the structure and control of exercise when SOMEONE ELSE IS TELLING ME WHAT TO DO! I have figured out that that is why I like the peaceful bliss of yoga (my teacher tells me what to do pose by pose), Curves (the recording tells me when to change stations in the large oval circuit, and Couch To 5k which tells me when to run and walk. I have far too much on my mind to add exercise directions, but I am a willing participant.
I continued the rest of my Saturday with a lunch of salad with grilled chicken, a snack of almonds and a special dinner out. We met my cousins in Santa Monica at Real Food Daily where I had the yummy Pizza ya can Eat-za, which is a cornmeal crust with sun-dried tomato pesto, tomatoes, spinach, soy mozzarella cheese, basil served with kale and cannelini beans. This place is great when on the detox cleanse because everything on the menu is basically OK. There are a few sugary items and I admit to having a couple of bites of soy ice cream-while not sweetened with sugar, was sweetened with molasses bits, I believe. I really didn’t desire more than a bite, which is very unusual for me. I had water with lemon and Egyptian Mint Green Tea after eating. Success!
"Pizza ya can eat-za" from Read Food Daily
Today I started with scrambled egg and onions, berries and mana bread. I then went for a great hike with a friend Jill, in Red Rock Canyon. This was a little more than 2 miles, and Charlie came along. He was pretty pooped by the end of the hike and happy to get back to Jill’s. Jill treated me to a lunch/snack of fruit and a cottage cheese/flax oil blend which we had like a spread/dip with rice cake. This was a very sustaining snack. At home I had a little evening snack of left over “pizza” from last night and a few almonds. Dinner will be light.
I have completed the first week! What have I learned?
1. Be prepared.
2. Keep great food in the house.
3. Eat small portions.
4. Drink your water!
5. Keep busy and exercise.
Today the word is accept and I have been hearing that word lately in various settings. For example: don’t resist, find contentment and basically accept the place you are in. I am working on this on many levels.
For one thing, I am accepting my new food menu. Today started with the delicious Muesli I made last night. It was a great way to start the day and was fresh and gave me a lot of energy.
I made a special lunch of a corn tortilla with a slice of turkey and slices of organic, raw milk cheese which I put under the broiler for just a few minutes. I added a touch of salsa and…fantastic! unfortunately Charlie was in the kitchen with me, so no picture. I think I have found a solution to that though, tonight I gave him a bite of chicken right after snapping a picture and he seems content.
Dinner was a fresh green salad topped with broiled chicken which was just perfect after my 30 minute run/walk at the gym.
Dinner: fresh salad with broiled chicken
I just had to try the recipe for peanut butter banana muffins and they were yummy. I added the cacao bits for an extra treat. It is nice to know I can have some treats. I ate it with raspberries, boysenberries and strawberries.
Peanut Butter Banana Muffin with a little extra treat.
I am going to work on accepting where I am and really try to be open to opportunities and change. Change is not always a bad thing, it can lead to something positive. It is time to stop resisting and to accept where I am in my life now. This also means accepting those in my life for who they are and trying to stop attempting to change the habits of others. That’s a tricky one, but I am going to give it a shot. Wish me luck!
Well, well, I am learning new things every day. Today I am learning about probiotic and how they help you digestion. I am not talking the run-of-the-mill yogurt, but actually kefir, sauerkraut and a supplement. I am trying to find my favorite and I am all about the easy way out. If I am going to stick to something, it has to be easy, pretty quick and convenient. I am preparing my food ahead of time and putting a little planning into organizing my food so I can find what I need quickly and just grab it and eat it.
I am thinking about my second to last power word: trust. Trust is not just about trusting other people, it is also about trusting yourself. Trust is a challenging thing because we can never really know what is inside the mind of another person and small lies slip easily from the tongue. We hope we can trust ourselves, but sometimes it is as if we have two personalities: the trustworthy and the sneaky. The trustworthy is there deep down, all the time but the sneaky one likes to do what ever it wants to do, be that eating foods that don’t promote health, or lying around instead of exercising. My challenge is to find the ability to trust myself to do something that is really good for me. It is putting the immediate urges aside for the long-term good. I feel better after only 4 days because I am lighter and working hard to do everything I can do to make this 21 days very worthwhile.
Today I started the day with lemon water and Curves and then had my eggs and onions breakfast. I had a short swim and then salad with a little tuna for lunch. Snack, a hand full of almonds. Lots of water! An hour-long walk with a friend and then veggies and rice left from last night. I ended the evening with a Relax and Renew Yoga class at the gym, taught by my favorite teacher. Ahhhhhhhh! Now I am going to try the Old Fashioned Muesli recipe to prepare for tomorrow’s breakfast.
What a perfect word for today: focus. There are new things to focus on and some old friends that hang around daily, such as my morning workout. Today was Curves as I am alternating between the Curves workout and my Couch to 5k training at the gym. Walks usually come in the evening but today I had the pleasure of taking Charlie on a short walk through the park too! Have you ever noticed how dogs are so good at living in the moment and totally focusing on whatever they are doing, even if that means sleeping or staring in the distance? Charlie focuses on every smell and sound on our walk and he takes his time, walking slowly, enjoying the moment. He is a great teacher!
I started off the day with my glass of water with the juice of 1/2 a lemon and came back from Curves and made a bowl of oatmeal (with a little Almond Milk), coffee and strange as it sounds, I grabbed a slice of smoked organic turkey for my protein. I took my vitamins, including a pro-biotic, and felt great!
I had two doctors appointments and got my vision checked. It is strange that as I age, I find that I am repeating my mother’s life. She always had multiple doctors appointments and went prepared for a few hours of waiting in various areas of Kaiser. Today I followed in her foot steps, bringing my lunch bag with extra water, almonds and a green apple. I am focusing on being prepared and it worked. My mom was a smart lady! I used to think her habits were a bit silly, but now I realize how wise she was.
A Few Habits of my mothers:
Two drawers for socks ( white socks and black socks)
Reading the paper every morning
Watching the Tony Awards
Sending interesting articles to her children
Always bringing a water bottle with her Why is it that we think our mother’s habits are silly until we are their age?
New prescriptions, new medications to read about and new glasses ordered, I stopped at Whole Foods Market on the way home to pick up a few items on the B-Well shopping list that I hadn’t found the day before. Now I am completely “stocked” for the week.
I came home, made a quick lunch of salad and grilled chicken and then proceeded to swim and float in the pool, it is summer after all and I must have a little fun and relaxation. I am finishing up a fun mystery book: The Writing Class, by Jincy Willett and taking care of a few odds and ends.
So, my pictures, are lacking because Charlie, my dog, is terrified of the camera. At first we just thought it was the flash, but now if he sees the camera, he wants to run out of the room. I will work on this, I promise, but honestly my meals have not been that exciting yet. On the positive side, I am feeling great with plenty of energy and not too hungry or filled with cravings. I do have a challenge tonight because we are going to see Toy Story 3 and I will need a big bottle of water to keep me from temptation. 19 days to go! Focus!