There will be emotions in yoga, my teacher quoted tonight, that emerge within the body during our practice, and rise to the surface. Feel them, let them out. Do not try to suppress them.
We were children, innocent and curious, filled with hopes, dreams and unrealistic fantasy expectations of the image of a future life. We read books and believed that anything was possible. Magic, princes on gleaming white stallions, superheros, pots of gold at the end of the rainbow and mysterious identities. We dug in the fresh beach sand trying to reach China and bobbed over waves and learned to dive under them. We imagined the trickle of a garden hose on an asphalt driveway was a river and magenta berries were food in a forest. We ran out to play and stayed out until dinnertime, later until curfew, 10:00 p.m. We rode our bikes down to the Boulevard shopping at the Five and Dime, and the corner Drug Store with its rows of candy. Watermelon Jolly Rancher Candy Sticks were my favorite. We believed in everything and anything was possible.
The emotions arise from the disbelief that enters when all dreams do not come true.
We are adults filled with responsibilities and obligations screaming at us and visions just out of reach. Dreams bubbling under the surface, ready to burst out if only they are given the chance. We keep normal hours and go to normal jobs, while plotting elaborate escape plans. Holidays are celebrated annually and traditions are created and maintained. Our families grow, expand and contract. We make many acquaintances tied to our children’s activities, elementary schools, middle schools and high schools. Then our children go away. To college, to live, starting their lives and acquaintances drift off leaving a circle of close friends and family unaffected by the changing circumstances.
When we breathe, slowly, deliberately, inhale. Hold. Exhale. Hold. Vocalize. Ah. We release the trickle of emotions. The river of stress and the waterfall of tears.
We will be walking on the path, our path, of realized accomplishments, adventures planned and spontaneous, connections and re-connections. We walk together with partners and sometimes with children, and we walk alone. We will hold onto dreams and see some realized in another form, at another time. We look at the collections of life as a to-do list of expendable items. We will look back through tears and faded photos chronicling a span of time that in the grand design is just a blip, but to us, is everything.
The body, mind and Spirit, in the union of motion, stillness, sound and breath gives us the gift of a glimpse within and the ability to, for a moment, ignore what is outside of us.
One response to “Who we were, who we are, who we will be…”
This was really lovely.