November 6, 2009 · 9:37 pm

I have devoted a lot of time trying to understand myself, figure out who I am, what I believe in and what I want to accomplish in my life so exploring my own underside seems a bit repetitive but I am always willing to take a look for hidden treasures. I think that what I have discovered under it all is that it is nearly impossible to figure everything out and it is pretty hard to figure out little things too. I have mastered getting through the day, planning and preparing. I am learning to devote time to myself, to look more closely at others and to appreciate little things, like lying on the grass in the kindergarten yard with my 24 little charges in a big circle around the flagpole, staring at the underside of the trees. That is a coincidence! Today, as we all lay on the grass, staring at the beautiful blue sky, warmed by the sun, we identified the oak tree, the mulberry tree, the sycamore tree and the pine tree. We noticed the fuzzy sycamore leaves and spiky seedpods of the sycamore, the multitude of pine cones on the pine tree, the new leaves on the mulberry and the crooked branches on the young oak. The breeze blew, the flags waved above us and we listened. We listened to the sound of the wind, in the silence of the kindergarten yard, a place usually filled with delighted screams and laughter, now beautifully silent with twenty-four children and one lucky teacher caught in a moment of wonder.
October 20, 2009 · 10:07 pm

This is the advice I have been waiting for as a title has been floating around in my head for quite some time. Now is the time to begin my story, and the title is:
“How To Lose Everything Without Losing Yourself”
It began when I realized that life is not after all, a fairy tale, and there is no knight riding up on a white horse to rescue me, take care of me and provide for me for the rest of my life. I am not sitting on a throne, commanding subordinates to fetch the items I desire, or wandering among the roses in my lovely garden. In reality I am rising early to get to work on time and then returning to my simple abode to take care of the household chores and it is this realization that snaps me out of my dreamlike state that began with simple childhood stories and fairy tales.
Through life seemed full of disappointments when this bubble burst, it was really the beginning of a transformation and having recently emerged from the fog of 18 months of sliding down a long hill and from down here at the bottom, there is nowhere else to look but up.
To be continued…….