Category Archives: Life thoughts

January 19, 2010 · 10:03 pm

Carbohydrates Are My Friends

The delicious culprits.

Ah, that milky swimming pool!

Carrying around “baggage” in the form of a very heavy cast, has re-aquainted me with some old friends: carbohydrates.  I think it is part of the healing process to crave the deliciousness of cereal for breakfast and again for dinner.  It is not exactly on the Jenny Craig menu, but I figure if I don’t eat anything else then it makes it OK and better than that, it makes me happy.  The crunchy puffs of rice and squares of wheat swimming in their pool of icy cold milk can almost make me forget that I am getting absolutely nothing done around here because hobbling takes too much effort.  So, I am resigned to reading, writing, yes, yes, slowing down, and trying very hard to ignore the piles of papers and the New Year’s resolutions to clean up and get organized.

The”best laid plans” and all those good intentions and visualizations did not predict this prison on my leg.  Do I sound a bit annoyed?  I am taking suggestions on productive ways to:  clean my closet, clean and organize my papers and generally begin the process of organizing the “energy” (i.e. Happiness Project) in my house so the chi can flow and the positive actions begin.

Suggestions?  Willing helpers?

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January 18, 2010 · 2:32 pm

Mother Knows Best

Mom would be glad I realized this and it's not too late for you!

It is pouring today, and I don’t mean just pouring in California terms, but actual buckets of rain pouring down causing trees to fall and rivers to form in the streets.  The water is trickling down the beams in the living room and waterfalling down the fireplace.  As I got ready to venture out for an early appointment, I prepared by covering my cast with my Seal-Tight giant protector, wearing my mother’s calf-length London Fog raincoat and a cute knit cap that my daughter’s friend made for me, I looked like a taller version of my mother albeit with a gimpy leg.  My husband Gary said, “Your mom is still taking care of you.” and I realized that it is true, for as much as I resented her constant over-preparedness I have now come to appreciate it.  As Mark Twain said, “The older I get the smarter my father seems to get.”  In my case, it is my mother’s wisdom that I now cherish.

Hopefully it won’t take my own daughters quite as long to realize that I too have some words of wisdom to impart and each of them, in their own way are beginning to realize that.  So in the tradition of the many notes and reminders I leave my family, here is a short list of rainy day musings:

1.  Dress for the rain.  You really will feel better if you stay dry.

2.  Make your bed every morning.  You will feel like you are beginning your day and will be happy to come home to a neat room.

3.  Clean up as you go and absolutely before you go to bed.  No one really likes to wake up to a mess and it won’t look better in the morning.

4.  Take time to spend with those you love (including pets) because the memories will stay with you forever.

5.  Listen more, talk less.

6.  Expect the best but prepare for the worst, and that includes rain, earthquakes, fires and other impending disasters.  Oy!

Some of these I learned from my mother, and others are things I have learned from my own experience.  Wisdom can be compiled and gathered from many sources, but mothers are stronger than we look and know more than we are given credit for.

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January 17, 2010 · 6:55 pm

Slowing Down-Six Weeks in a Cast

There is a saying that things often happen for a reason and while I usually believe it, I don’t always need such a blatant reminder to slow down and appreciate the more mellow side of life.  Yet, that is what I know must do, thanks to DWP and a faulty, sunken water meter.

As I walked my dog Charlie, a slow walking dog of 10 years, around my neighborhood, quasi-training for the Avon Breast Cancer Walk I will be completing in September, My foot twisted painfully as I stepped on what I thought was level sidewalk, but was instead a 3″ drop.

The Evil Water Meter

So, as I lay on the ground, Charlie staring at me quizzically, I pondered my choices and decided I had none but to limp the 30 minutes home.  My, that tennis shoe was tight by the time I got home!  I was sure it was just a sprain, so I wrapped it tightly and continues with my usual active life.

Finally, Tuesday, my husband suggested quietly that I might want to see a doctor-since my foot was quite purple.  The doctor thought it was most likely a spain, but she would call the next day if the x-rays showed more.  At noon the next day, while eating lunch in the staff lunchroom, my phone rang and I was requested to show up at the orthopedic doctor the next morning.  After 2 hours I left with a lovely bright pink cast.

The lovely cast covered by a "sock" because my toes are freezing! I have a walking boot too!

I can no longer hop up and down multitasking, turn on a dime, maneuver effortlessly through my kindergarten classroom or sadly, walk Charlie.  My training for the Avon Walk is on hold, as is yoga class.  What is left?  I can plow through that ominous stack of books, write, balance my budget and take control of my finances, sit sipping green tea and work on my Happiness Project. It actually is possible to slow down.

When they say that everything happens for a reason, I guess my reason is to take the time to stop and appreciate things because after all, it is hard to focus on things when you move so quickly that life is a blur.

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January 9, 2010 · 7:37 pm

My Life on a Diet

Diet: figurative:  a regular occupation or series of activities in which one participates : a healthy diet of classical music.

It is the beginning of the new year and my life is on a diet that represents my aspirations for positive change, moving forward, visualizations of goals and dreams and a healthy outlook on life.  This is very ambitious, I know, to tackle an assortment of life habits at one time, but I like to look at it as a life makeover and by doing so, I am developing regular activities.

The first part of my life diet is an actual diet to increase my health.  This involves eating differently and developing habits that will become part of my lifestyle.  I have help from Jenny Craig and am enjoying the structured manner the program uses.  I like having someone tell me what to eat, provide the food and encourage me by telling me how wonderful I am progressing.  I like not thinking about the food I am going to eat, not cooking and not having to make too many choices.  I like the results!

Jenny Craig encourages a food, mind, body approach to weight loss and there is a lot of encouragement to have a regular physical exercise plan.  That is another part of my diet:  developing the habit to exercise daily and make it a regular part of my day.  I have started by walking each day for one hour and increased the yoga (good for the mind) classes I am taking.

The third part of my diet is a positive self direction.  I am willing to seriously consider the possibility that Thoughts Become Things and am actively practicing visualizing my personal goals.  I am opening my self up to happiness by creating my own Happiness Project (www.thehappinessproject.com) and taking the time to read the writing of others on a similar quest.

The fourth part of my diet is to develop financial intelligence.  I am determined to understand investing, budgets and how to simplify my life.  I am dedicated to this path and am happy for the expertise of others who have started exploring before me.  I have found the following people/websites useful:

http://www.simpledollar.com, http://www.suzeorman.com,www.mint.com, http://www.creativecatalyst.com, http://www.jennycraig.com, http://www.thoughtsbecomethings.com

So, you may ask, what is the motivation for this diet?  Well this quote was delivered to my email box and I felt inspired:

“You have to find something that you love enough to be able to take risks, jump over the hurdles and break through the brick walls that are always going to be place in front of you. If you don’t have that kind of feeling for what it is you are doing, you’ll stop at the first giant hurdle.”

~George Lucas, Film Director and Producer

It makes you think.

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January 7, 2010 · 11:03 pm

Literary Magnetisism

I suddenly realize that the reason I cannot get things done is because I am a literary magnet.  I am heading towards the end of my three-week winter break and I am looking around at a house with tables covered with papers, remnants of the past holiday in the form of scented pine cones in baskets, a credenza that refuses to show its surface and various environmentally friendly bags hanging randomly on knobs of all sorts.  The conclusion I have come to is that the reason I am not successfully cleaning my house, organizing my papers and clearing surfaces is because I cannot stop reading.

I am hopelessly addicted to books, beautifully and artistically stacked on my side table, my desk, my night table and the credenza, and am reading 3 concurrently, but it does not end there because I have a mirad of magazine articles I have saved to read and my latest addiction:  Blogs.  It is such a treat to read the musings of so many wonderful writers, like small appetizers that fill up my time while I await my main course of one of the books tempting me.  I am hopeless and cannot stop!  I am staying up way too late and have had to buy a small reading light to allow my husband to sleep while I read into the wee hours.  Sadly, some people have to get up and go to work.

I am beginning to panic at the thought of going back to work next week as I have totally adapted to life in the pages.  Luckily the reading inspires writing so I am not falling too far behind in that area, but I worry about the panic I am likely to feel Sunday night as I realize I didn’t carry out the household tasks I listed at the beginning of the break.  Life is short though, and time well-spent reading is my dessert.

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January 6, 2010 · 11:09 pm

My “girlfriends”

I have recently started having “play dates” with two of my mother’s friends.  My mother passed away in October of 2008, but luckily for me, I inherited her two wonderful friends, Helen and Libby.  These women (both in their 80s) have invited me to cultural events, movies, dinners and lunches and I always include them in our holiday dinners, continuing a tradition started years ago.  I have friends of all ages, but these lovely women of my mother’s generation tell me stories of long ago and people from their past.  They educate me about early Los Angeles and are more knowledgeable that I am about movies, theater and literature.  So I am learning a lot by listening and enjoying experiencing time slowed down, time to sit and listen and time to talk about new subjects.  I am making time to include visits in my schedule and my new women friends now join me when I volunteer monthly at a shelter in the city, which happens to be located right in the neighborhood where they spent their childhoods.

Sometimes things come full-circle and just work out.  These evolving friendships stem from friendships that my mother (and father) enjoyed for years but I was determined not to lose touch with these women who meant so much to my mother and have been part of our family for so long.  Sometimes a little effort goes a long way and the benefits for everyone are simple but special.

Think about someone you know, or have contact with and next time the opportunity presents itself, slow down enough to talk to, and most importantly, to listen to that person for a bit.  The good feeling lasts longer than you would expect.

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January 2, 2010 · 8:15 pm

Walking

Well, today was a beautiful Southern California day.  70 degrees. After spending the morning moving furniture from storage into our spare rooms, I longed to walk outdoors, anywhere, but there were other plans in store for me which included Costco, the market, and…The Mall.  While I did get in 4527 steps in so far today (not my more inspiring 7000 at the gym while on the treadmill) I did spend quality time with two out of three daughters and it set the tone for a lovely evening of togetherness making our traditional taco dinner with rice and beans and generally hanging out.  In a few minutes we will begin our collages and then have a cozy night on the couch watching a movie.

These times are fleeting as our youngest leaves to go back to college tomorrow and our middle one off to college on Monday morning.  We appreciate our time together and my legs are actually tired from all that Mall walking.  The good news is that our new guest room is waiting for our oldest daughter and her boyfriend to come on down for a visit and stay is style and comfort.

The New Year brings change and challenges, but coming along for the ride are cozy, comfortable times and traditions.  Home.


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December 31, 2009 · 11:14 pm

Collaging The New Year

Simple New Year’s traditions are habitual for me.  I relish creating goals, lists and most recently, collages-visual representations of my hopes for the new year ahead.  I drag my family into this activity, but secretly I think they love the creative, artistic escape of sitting around the big kitchen table with piles of magazines torn apart in the search for the perfect picture or word.  This mellow time of sharing, hunting together and putting our hopes and dreams for the future out on the table, stuck to small boards with white glue, is one of the few rare times we all sit engaged in a common activity that doesn’t require electricity.  I often yearn for a technology-free day of time spent sharing an activity that requires personal interaction and the time we spend creating our New Year’s collages is a close as I get.

Before I can create my collage I have to consider what I want to visualize for the new year and that can be inspired by magazine images or ideas I’ve had floating around for a while.  Setting goals is organized ambition and my inspiration after reading my daughter’s blog is to think of three goals and bring them to life with visual images that will inspire me during the year.  I usually put my collage in a prominent place where I see it first thing in the morning and remind myself to be cognizant of my actions.  So here goes,  this year’s goals are:

1.  To Write-I want to write blogs, journals, poems, stories, comments, and articles.  I want to improve and grow as a writer.  I will read, a lot, to be inspired, to learn, to be entertained, to relax and to escape.  I think that reading and writing go hand in hand and surrounding myself in the literary world will help me create a place for myself in that world.  It also is much nicer than watching mindless TV, although at times, mindless TV comes in handy too.

2.  To Walk-I want to keep my commitment to walk an hour each day both as a great health goal, and as training for the Avon Breast Cancer Walk I will be participating in next September.  Walking provides time to think, to listen to music or motivating walking CDs, or to watch a little of that mindless TV if I am on the treadmill at the gym.  Walking connects me to the world, my neighborhood or places of nature and I feel better after walking thanks to increased endorphins.

3.  To Move Forward-I am ready, more than ready, to move forward and away from 2008-2009 and towards a decade of increased awareness, a plan leading to goals, a life that is more in line with what is important to me:  family, friends, health, and personal creativity.  I am ready to accept help in getting started on my yellow brick road from any good fairy willing to help, and I do know that I have the power within me to make the changes, and start the walk down that road leading to my own version of Oz.

This was the quote from Creative Catalyst today:

“The masters at the art of living make little distinction between their work and their play, their labor and their leisure, their minds and their bodies, their information, their recreation,their love and their religion. They hardly know which is which. They simply pursue their vision of excellence at whatever they do – leaving others to decide whether they are working or playing.”

~James Michener

With that in mind, here’s to a year of playing!  Happy 2010!



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December 27, 2009 · 7:07 pm

Selective Happiness

I have been thinking a lot about happiness lately and plan on doing my own Happiness Project starting on January 1st.  I have come to a few realizations about happiness.  H.A.L.T. is an acronym used by those fighting addiction to remind them to take care of their physical and emotional needs before seeking outside remedies.  They are told to ask, “Am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired?” because these are causes for seeking a cure for the negative feeling which is often detrimental to recovery.  I think this acronym is useful for those of us seeking a life with more happiness developed by the creation of habits and a life designed to support what we want and need to feel happiness.  Happiness is a feeling individual and specific to each of us, and must be cultivated.  Often in the retrospective age of 50+ we begin to reflect on life’s real importance, but I believe that bits of this insight can be achieved by those young adults willing to slow down and unplug long enough to allow themselves to get to know themselves and their feelings and desires.  Doing so could possibly provide a more satisfying life and certainly could lead to more happiness.

Happiness is not dependent on food, although it is easier to be happy when you are not hungry.  The amount, or category of food is not the key to happiness, though I have read research related to chocolate having certain qualities that release the “happiness” hormone serotonin.  Eating with friends and family is the experience that creates the feeling of happiness through the sharing of conversation, appreciating the food and slowing down to enjoy quality time with those we love.  Eating alone can also bring happiness allowing for a calm respite during a chaotic day, the appreciation of the qualities of the food (taste, texture, color) and time to rest from external conversation.

Happiness is not dependent on the external actions of others, it is the way we process and handle the actions, that allow us to maintain our feelings of happiness, and to avoid being sucked into feelings of anger.  It is possible to be disappointed, sad and angry and then to transform the energy of those feelings, through determination, and use the energy to fuel happiness.  We have to make choices in our lives and if we are harboring people in our lives that continually provide us with actions that disappoint, it is up to us to release these people from our lives, or to accept them with these qualities known.  Ultimately though, it is our choice to be happy.

Happiness is not dependent on external forces, in other words, it’s not the “stuff” that creates happiness, although the process of acquiring “stuff” might be a fun and happy experience, i.e. shopping.  It is more likely the combination of spending time surrounded by people, either friends, or those also spending some happy time at the mall.  How often have I arrived at home with my purchases and had buyer’s remorse, second thoughts and then returned the items?  Malls were created to provide the sense of community that has been lost in the expansion of our society and the isolation we often feel in our busy lives and the mall is the new town center complete with options for all of the senses.  The experience of shopping, or even just going to the mall, is the instigator for happiness, not the actual purchase.

Happiness is not dependent on relaxation and pampering ourselves because it is an internal feeling.  I think a day at the spa is wonderful and one of my favorite experiences of relaxation and pampering, but it does not equate with long-term happiness.  It is a temporary, “feel good” happiness.  Short-term happiness derived from haircuts, manicures and massages are valuable and there is a lot of research about the value of touch therapy.  I have utilized it myself during particularly trying times and still indulge occasionally, but happiness is not dependent on it.  Happiness is dependent on the body’s physical state to a certain extent and that is why it is important to be physically rested. When we operate on sleep-depravation, it is challenging to be upbeat and happy.  We are most likely craving the ability to just lie down and go to sleep.

The acronym H.A.L.T., though originated for those fighting addiction, can be useful for those of us seeking happiness as well, for while we can fairly easily point out what happiness is not dependent on, and how to avoid the pitfalls of false happiness, in doing so, the mystery to happiness is revealed. Happiness is self-dependent and within and the key to it is held by each of us, the choice to use it is ours. Unlocking our own happiness is a life choice that can lead to the creation of more happiness and the realization of what we want in our lives.

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December 24, 2009 · 9:31 pm

Why Sisters Are Special

The complicated relationship of sisters is one that is both frustrating and compelling for sisters share more than just genes, they share history and experiences that no one else knows about or relates to.  Sisters have periods of extreme distance and extreme closeness that don’t always coincide, but the fact remains that the sister connection cannot be severed.

I am so grateful for my relationship with my sister for we share more now that we are older and have more in common than we have differences.  We both love to:  read, write, create art, talk, research, walk, explore, learn, share family experiences, and most importunately share and relive our memories of each other, our parents and our years of growing up together.  We are lucky to live relatively close to each other and fortunate that we get some special “sister time” to spend together.

I have always told my three daughters that their sisters are their best friends and though I am sure they don’t always believe me, I hope they find it to be true, as I have, as they grow older.

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