Back to Reality, It’s Normal

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It’s normal.  I am back in my (new) reality.  I woke up with an early to-do list and accomplished three errands before the start of the 11:00 a.m. -2:00 p.m. window allotted for my donation pick-up.  I was so excited to finally be able to donate the 7 bags of clothing (mostly mine) and linens and the 2 boxes and 2 bags of books.  My dining room will be back to “normal.”  The real excitement came from my anticipation of the donation of 2 no longer needed patio sets and a doghouse that was never used by our dog.  I am trying to condense without dealing with anything too emotional…

It’s normal.  The nice guys showed up just after 11:00 a.m. and looked at the patio sets (they are too worn) and the doghouse (we don’t take dog houses).  My dreams were shattered!  I think the steep steps up the side of the house-the only way to get things up to street level, might have had something to do with it, but it could just be that they look worse that I thought they did.  I showed them the bags and boxes, which they quickly took out to the truck.  They gave me my itemized tax receipt and off they went.  It was only after the truck drove off, that I remembered I hadn’t given them the items in the garage!  I totally forgot about it even though I had made a list so I wouldn’t forget.  I forget about the list.

It’s normal.  This is my new reality.  Fleeting thoughts, absent-mindedness, moments of extreme energy followed by the inability to move at all are now my normal.  Looking for distractions and the desire to be anywhere but where I am.  Every book I read says that it is normal, after going through a loss, trauma, when trying to function, to be forgetful, to act in ways other than one’s usual manner, but for someone who has functioned as a pretty organized person for most of her life, this doesn’t really feel comfortable and I crave my old normal.  Meanwhile, I have a 2-drawer file cabinet, 2 used patio sets, some plastic outdoor chairs and a cool doghouse up for grabs!

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