Tag Archives: happiness
Commiting To Happiness
I made this butterfly cake to celebrate Hope's wonderful journey described in her book The Possibility of Everything.
Last night I spent the evening surrounded by some of my favorite women in the comfortable, serene atmosphere of my friend Sue’s home. We had delicious potluck (somehow with this group there is always the right combination of food) and conversation followed by a great talk and description of her journey by Hope Edelman. Her book: The Possibility of Everything is a fascinating story of trust, alternative viewpoints and hope. Hope writes in a most compelling way, and I felt involved in her story on many levels. First of all, as a mother, I felt compassion for her struggles with her daughter and her commitment to help her daughter come out on the other side. Secondly, I related to her role as a mother/wife/writer who has temporarily lost her sense of self. Thirdly, her struggles with her relationship felt all too familiar, balancing time and the energy it takes to support modern lifestyles. Hope inspired me to write more and to find out what my story will be.
Gretchen Rubin and Me at Vroman's Bookstore in Pasadena
Monday night I had another literary adventure attending the book signing of Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project at Vroman’s Bookstore in Pasadena. First of all, as my friend Danielle and I entered the store, audible gasps could be heard from us as we took in the amazing variety of wonderful things, books, cards, gifts and more books. And, it’s two stories of wonderfulness! We made our way upstairs in the elevator and enjoyed listening to Gretchen describe her realization of her need to create more happiness in her life. Reading both her blog and her book has motivated me to appreciate more, create what I need and to focus on happiness. We waited for the line to go down and got her signature in our books. I even managed to have her write a note to my sister-who was unable to attend. Spreading the happiness.
As we were leaving, we noticed that Friday night, Elizabeth Gilbert of Eat, Pray, Love fame will be talking about and signing her new book, Commitment. We got two books and two tickets and are looking forward to another night of book talk.
I want to be surrounded and embraced by books, words, new thoughts, random punctuation, other worlds and unforseen experiences. And through some serendipity, I am. My next task is to visualize myself as the writer, the creator and eventually the person giving the book talk. Everything is possible with a commitment to happiness.
Filed under creative writing, Life thoughts, reading
Slowing Down-Six Weeks in a Cast
There is a saying that things often happen for a reason and while I usually believe it, I don’t always need such a blatant reminder to slow down and appreciate the more mellow side of life. Yet, that is what I know must do, thanks to DWP and a faulty, sunken water meter.
As I walked my dog Charlie, a slow walking dog of 10 years, around my neighborhood, quasi-training for the Avon Breast Cancer Walk I will be completing in September, My foot twisted painfully as I stepped on what I thought was level sidewalk, but was instead a 3″ drop.
The Evil Water Meter
So, as I lay on the ground, Charlie staring at me quizzically, I pondered my choices and decided I had none but to limp the 30 minutes home. My, that tennis shoe was tight by the time I got home! I was sure it was just a sprain, so I wrapped it tightly and continues with my usual active life.
Finally, Tuesday, my husband suggested quietly that I might want to see a doctor-since my foot was quite purple. The doctor thought it was most likely a spain, but she would call the next day if the x-rays showed more. At noon the next day, while eating lunch in the staff lunchroom, my phone rang and I was requested to show up at the orthopedic doctor the next morning. After 2 hours I left with a lovely bright pink cast.
The lovely cast covered by a "sock" because my toes are freezing! I have a walking boot too!
I can no longer hop up and down multitasking, turn on a dime, maneuver effortlessly through my kindergarten classroom or sadly, walk Charlie. My training for the Avon Walk is on hold, as is yoga class. What is left? I can plow through that ominous stack of books, write, balance my budget and take control of my finances, sit sipping green tea and work on my Happiness Project. It actually is possible to slow down.
When they say that everything happens for a reason, I guess my reason is to take the time to stop and appreciate things because after all, it is hard to focus on things when you move so quickly that life is a blur.
Filed under Life thoughts, reading, Walking
Collaging The New Year
Simple New Year’s traditions are habitual for me. I relish creating goals, lists and most recently, collages-visual representations of my hopes for the new year ahead. I drag my family into this activity, but secretly I think they love the creative, artistic escape of sitting around the big kitchen table with piles of magazines torn apart in the search for the perfect picture or word. This mellow time of sharing, hunting together and putting our hopes and dreams for the future out on the table, stuck to small boards with white glue, is one of the few rare times we all sit engaged in a common activity that doesn’t require electricity. I often yearn for a technology-free day of time spent sharing an activity that requires personal interaction and the time we spend creating our New Year’s collages is a close as I get.
Before I can create my collage I have to consider what I want to visualize for the new year and that can be inspired by magazine images or ideas I’ve had floating around for a while. Setting goals is organized ambition and my inspiration after reading my daughter’s blog is to think of three goals and bring them to life with visual images that will inspire me during the year. I usually put my collage in a prominent place where I see it first thing in the morning and remind myself to be cognizant of my actions. So here goes, this year’s goals are:
1. To Write-I want to write blogs, journals, poems, stories, comments, and articles. I want to improve and grow as a writer. I will read, a lot, to be inspired, to learn, to be entertained, to relax and to escape. I think that reading and writing go hand in hand and surrounding myself in the literary world will help me create a place for myself in that world. It also is much nicer than watching mindless TV, although at times, mindless TV comes in handy too.
2. To Walk-I want to keep my commitment to walk an hour each day both as a great health goal, and as training for the Avon Breast Cancer Walk I will be participating in next September. Walking provides time to think, to listen to music or motivating walking CDs, or to watch a little of that mindless TV if I am on the treadmill at the gym. Walking connects me to the world, my neighborhood or places of nature and I feel better after walking thanks to increased endorphins.
3. To Move Forward-I am ready, more than ready, to move forward and away from 2008-2009 and towards a decade of increased awareness, a plan leading to goals, a life that is more in line with what is important to me: family, friends, health, and personal creativity. I am ready to accept help in getting started on my yellow brick road from any good fairy willing to help, and I do know that I have the power within me to make the changes, and start the walk down that road leading to my own version of Oz.
This was the quote from Creative Catalyst today:
“The masters at the art of living make little distinction between their work and their play, their labor and their leisure, their minds and their bodies, their information, their recreation,their love and their religion. They hardly know which is which. They simply pursue their vision of excellence at whatever they do – leaving others to decide whether they are working or playing.”
~James Michener
With that in mind, here’s to a year of playing! Happy 2010!
Filed under Art, creative writing, Life thoughts, New Year's, Walking
Selective Happiness
I have been thinking a lot about happiness lately and plan on doing my own Happiness Project starting on January 1st. I have come to a few realizations about happiness. H.A.L.T. is an acronym used by those fighting addiction to remind them to take care of their physical and emotional needs before seeking outside remedies. They are told to ask, “Am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired?” because these are causes for seeking a cure for the negative feeling which is often detrimental to recovery. I think this acronym is useful for those of us seeking a life with more happiness developed by the creation of habits and a life designed to support what we want and need to feel happiness. Happiness is a feeling individual and specific to each of us, and must be cultivated. Often in the retrospective age of 50+ we begin to reflect on life’s real importance, but I believe that bits of this insight can be achieved by those young adults willing to slow down and unplug long enough to allow themselves to get to know themselves and their feelings and desires. Doing so could possibly provide a more satisfying life and certainly could lead to more happiness.
Happiness is not dependent on food, although it is easier to be happy when you are not hungry. The amount, or category of food is not the key to happiness, though I have read research related to chocolate having certain qualities that release the “happiness” hormone serotonin. Eating with friends and family is the experience that creates the feeling of happiness through the sharing of conversation, appreciating the food and slowing down to enjoy quality time with those we love. Eating alone can also bring happiness allowing for a calm respite during a chaotic day, the appreciation of the qualities of the food (taste, texture, color) and time to rest from external conversation.
Happiness is not dependent on the external actions of others, it is the way we process and handle the actions, that allow us to maintain our feelings of happiness, and to avoid being sucked into feelings of anger. It is possible to be disappointed, sad and angry and then to transform the energy of those feelings, through determination, and use the energy to fuel happiness. We have to make choices in our lives and if we are harboring people in our lives that continually provide us with actions that disappoint, it is up to us to release these people from our lives, or to accept them with these qualities known. Ultimately though, it is our choice to be happy.
Happiness is not dependent on external forces, in other words, it’s not the “stuff” that creates happiness, although the process of acquiring “stuff” might be a fun and happy experience, i.e. shopping. It is more likely the combination of spending time surrounded by people, either friends, or those also spending some happy time at the mall. How often have I arrived at home with my purchases and had buyer’s remorse, second thoughts and then returned the items? Malls were created to provide the sense of community that has been lost in the expansion of our society and the isolation we often feel in our busy lives and the mall is the new town center complete with options for all of the senses. The experience of shopping, or even just going to the mall, is the instigator for happiness, not the actual purchase.
Happiness is not dependent on relaxation and pampering ourselves because it is an internal feeling. I think a day at the spa is wonderful and one of my favorite experiences of relaxation and pampering, but it does not equate with long-term happiness. It is a temporary, “feel good” happiness. Short-term happiness derived from haircuts, manicures and massages are valuable and there is a lot of research about the value of touch therapy. I have utilized it myself during particularly trying times and still indulge occasionally, but happiness is not dependent on it. Happiness is dependent on the body’s physical state to a certain extent and that is why it is important to be physically rested. When we operate on sleep-depravation, it is challenging to be upbeat and happy. We are most likely craving the ability to just lie down and go to sleep.
The acronym H.A.L.T., though originated for those fighting addiction, can be useful for those of us seeking happiness as well, for while we can fairly easily point out what happiness is not dependent on, and how to avoid the pitfalls of false happiness, in doing so, the mystery to happiness is revealed. Happiness is self-dependent and within and the key to it is held by each of us, the choice to use it is ours. Unlocking our own happiness is a life choice that can lead to the creation of more happiness and the realization of what we want in our lives.
Filed under Life thoughts
BetweenTheWords 