Eliminate Words

The exercise is to create a story title by combining a color and a noun, an exercise meant to write a concise piece and to practice eliminating unnecessary words.  Rewriting and editing are hard tools for writers and I am no exception.  I remember as a young writer I never wanted to do the difficult editing, I just wanted to write it perfectly the first time. As I got older, I began to appreciate the opportunity to have a “do over,” a chance to correct and improve.  If only it were that easy in life.  If those opportunities existed, I can think of storylines in my life I would rewrite with abandon.  Of course, the elimination of words is a process that is difficult, we don’t like to eliminate, and we like to acquire:  clothes, people, possessions, and money.  We want more of most things so perhaps the lesson then, is to learn to want less, to say more with fewer words and to live more with less and to need less.  Here is my attempt to reduce.

The Taupe House

The house sits on a slightly raised lot, a bit higher than its neighbor to the west, which gives it a vantage point.  The front yard with its curved driveway and ample parking is small but welcoming and the vines trailing down beside the windows are lush and require frequent trimming.  It is the back yard that acts as a secret fantasyland complete with jungle-like foliage and pool.  The escape from the outside world is treasured.  Golden silence.

Another view and eliminate 20 words…

The Taupe House

I sit proudly on my perch looking down, just a bit, on my neighbors.  I am graced with swiftly growing vines.  My backyard is sheltered and jungle-like with a pool as the centerpiece.  I provide escape, relaxation and privacy.  Golden silence.

Eliminate 20 more words….

The Taupe House

I sit proudly on my perch graced with swiftly growing vines, my backyard sheltered, jungle-like, featuring a pool providing escape, relaxation and privacy.  Golden silence.